Honestly,  I just want to work on myself. No interruptions, no distractions. Just me being in tune with the core of myself. The reflection of me should be someone I wouldn’t mind my little sister growing into. Even in this blurred state, I see a girl worth fighting for.

If that means I’m going through hell and high waters for her, than that’s where I’ll float. I would love to meet the best version of myself. Uncover the beauty beyond my surface and understand that everything happens for a reason. I’m not perfect and I’m still growing. I know mistakes will feel like     I’m backtracking. But I know the purpose will be worth it. Even if I get lost in loving myself, it’s better than getting lost in someone else.

But I don’t want to have a fear of living and loving. Hurt and happiness is all the same. There’s a beauty in every ugly and growing in grace is what I crave. If I find a soul along the way to match what I desire, than I hope to boast in it all without hesitating too much while still protecting the most fragile part of me. I want to meet that girl.

I’ll Keep Her

@rebellefleeur

                                                                                                                             @illkeepherinc

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If we’re being completely honest, since I’ve been home, it’s definitely been a journey. So um yes. It’s a part of me that desires the environment to release the I’ll Keep Her in me. & than it’s another part of me that needs space to feed the Baltimore girl in me, lol. How do I balance both of these dimensions? Each space carving for a space of my alignment. I’m aware of the sacrifice that arrives with my level up. & still I refuse to dismiss the roots from which my stem has blossomed. Not as easy it as seems, but it’s still a beautiful beginning. I fight every day to choose the right thing. To do the right thing. & to relocate the highest energy embedded in my being. I connect to purpose more than anything. & God’s voice still seems to find his way in the midst of the part of me that falls for the ego driven avenue. Even with all the confusion involved, I’ll always rest on my knowledge that God curated me this way so purposefully. With each dimension of my feminine energy in mind. No judgments. No shame. Only my intention to continue my re-development in the midst.

With high hopes in mind,  I’ll Keep Her 

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I can always tell when I’m attracting people from an unhealthy place. Regardless if it’s me seeking out a a place to deposit my unsettled thoughts, or if it’s them seeking theirs. Their is always a clear indication of when the energy is tainted. I think I’ve seen that now more than ever this week. Preservation isn’t simply about the energy that’s refilled and restored in the time of your solitude, but it’s also a record of the cautiousness that you bring to protect your foundation. More than anything, it’s a steady pace in your love language, your discipline, and the time that that you’re taking to dismiss the parts that aren’t in alignment with all that you’ve grown into.

Be careful of those moments that aren’t so easy to decipher between. Sometimes you’re going through so much, that God forces you to be disciplined in the feeding of your foundation. And although pressure seems inescapable, it is possible to stay on track. The sound of God’s voice, is as sensitive as the tears that you cry in order to receive his blessings. I wish that it was made this easy for your own sake.

God brings us people, things, and situations in order to remind us of our foundation. Sometimes we’re so use to dysfunction that we’re stubborn in the resources that he provides for us, to serve as a reflection of his love. I pray that your heart is gentle enough to know growth when it sees it. I pray that your mind is healthy enough to recognize the promise of new relationships for the grace of your soul. You deserve the love that God so clearly offers you, in a new quality of life. Praying that you continue to recognize the sound of your growth and vision in all,

I’ll Keep Her

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The enemy has a funny way of drowning you in dysfunction. Of highlighting unhealthy voids until you’re in a place of smothering, barely being able to function. God is love and God is peace. God is beyond an immeasurable amount of clarity despite what it may seems. I’m praying that you remember this during your significant times of need. Hold on to your love and purpose above all else.

Allow Gods will to exceed. Cry out for God, and he’ll take you away from the world just to allow you to feel his heart with the presence of your own. At your best you are love. At your best you are gifted. At your best you are aligned. I pray that you keep yourself a little longer, than the storm that’s surrounding your mind. 

I’ll Keep Her 

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I’ve never felt so close to God. So trusting of God’s word, so grateful of his promises, and so dedicated to reflect his collective vision despite the urge to not feel deserving of anything that I’ve been given. My trust still remains within. And the simple taste of his love has healed and re-healed.. it has healed and revealed a connection that I’ve needed to surmount for so long.

God I thank you. I’m granting myself this permission to praise the seeds that I’ve nourished with so much soul , I’m giving myself the permission to expect that I won’t fold. I’m holding my ear to your world for a map to show me my truth, I’m blending my passion with catharsis to renovate whatever that you tell me it’s time to fall into. Focused, present. & so willing to learn, I know that this time my only job is to yearn. Law of attraction, I want to find. I’m telling you my desires .

I bridge this to seek and you shall find. My love take heed to this noteworthy sign. Anything pure and with purpose, God just show me that even with this finishing touches on edge, all in all still it remains worth it. 

I’ll Keep Her

“A beautiful life does not just happen, it is built daily by prayer, humility, sacrifice and love. May that beautiful life be yours always.” – Elisabeth Kübler

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